1. You are beautiful because you are one of a kind. Your excellence is not in your physical appearance, nor in your ability to behave, nor in the way you dress or how you speak or the intelligence of your mind. Your excellence is in the truth that no other girl on earth exists who is just like you. All of you is an authentic, one of a kind, never to be replicated edition of a heart, mind, body, spirit, and soul. God made you exactly as you are, and he has never made another you nor will you ever be made by Him again. You are undeniably valuable for you, as each of us are, will forever be irreplaceable. No one can be you but you. That is the beauty of you. If you will make decisions in life to the best of your ability in remembering that you are uniquely and completely, irreplaceably and valuably made, and if you will seek to help others see their value as being uniquely made as well, then your beauty will shine from within and out of who you are. To know your value, to help others see their own, and to remember that no matter who you become, how you look, or what you do, that you are uniquely valuable in a way that cannot be undone, is my hope for you. You are one of a kind. Always and forever.
2. Home is a place in your heart that you share in a space with others between yourselves. You may have many physical homes. You may have many people you feel at home with. Some homes, you’ll hold alone and in yourself and you may search for those places but never find them here. Your heart’s home is Jesus and as you follow Him with all your heart, He will show you the way home. In the meantime, He gave you a family. And you will always have a home in me. No matter where you go, where you live, what you do, or how you feel, your heart and mine will always connect to make a home together.
3. If you’re ever doing something that does not make you proud of yourself, please take time to reconsider what it is you are doing. Pleasing others, serving others, and respecting others are great things to do—but when doing these things causes you to lose self-respect or to feel shame or to think poorly of yourself, then there is a problem. Nothing you are called to do will compromise your worth or value. As an addition to this idea, remember that others should not lose sight of their value in their efforts to please and serve you.
4. Be careful with the books you read, movies you watch, and entertainment you choose. The drama and reality of what we see affects the emotions and attitudes in how we feel. Life can be much more difficult to enjoy when fantasy attempts to convince us of how life could be ‘if ________’. Not all of us are affected by the same works of art in the same ways, but you’ll come to know what affects you and what does not. Follow your own heart there. When you notice that certain art forms cause you to want to fill in the if + blanks in your life, be careful. Dwelling on the if + blanks = a dangerous place for your mind. Everything we view becomes part of a reel that runs through us. Make sure the reel running through you uplifts you or constructively intrigues and teaches you. Never let art steal your joy.
5. Dating & men. Or talking. Or going steady. Or exclusive. Or whatever they call it by the time you’re old enough. —By the way, when is old enough? I don’t know. It will depend. You’re 6 now and I’ll know better when I see it. It’s going to be based on you and how much you seem capable of handling your own heart responsibly—your heart is our responsibility to guard and protect. As soon as we let you date, we trust you to make choices that will continue to guard and protect your heart. Of course, my prayer is the boys you date and the man you marry will be those who will guard and protect your heart as well. But initially the best defense for your heart after we let you on your own with boys is going to be you. That responsibility is not fair to give you if you are not ready to handle it. So we shall see. —back to the point—have the earliest courage to end any relationship with a man who you ultimately know you would never marry. Have fun dating, know that each young man you date will not become your husband and your dating should not be burdened by the “will we marry?-focus”—do not date and hope for or wonder if marriage is next. This is too heavy. If marriage is to come, it will come. So don’t dwell on fantasies or wonder over each dating relationship becoming marriage. If you dwell toward marriage while dating and getting to know one another, you’ll be likely to become too attached too soon and then you’ll be devastated if the relationship ends. However, if a man has specific things about him or does things that really bother you enough that you know you would never marry him—have the courage not to start dating. Have the courage to politely tell him no. Some of these men, if you tell them honestly why you wouldn’t date them, will walk away from you completely—good. That is heartache walking away. Others of them will hear a challenge to shape shift and become what you would be willing to marry—careful. Let them shift on their own. Tell them you are saying no for now, and have courage to hold strong despite any advances. Wait and watch. How long? Depends. But longer than a few months. If you then see change, date a few times if you like. The true change will prove itself and the shapeshifters will reveal themselves as well. It’s ok to change your mind. Just remain in control of your own self. If at any time you are dating a man who originally gave you no reason not to, or who showed you changes that made you want to, but being with him leads you to find un-before-seen reasons that you would never, could never marry him—have courage to end it and cut ties. It will be hard. Hard will not be enough of an adjective to capture how it will be. But you will have family and friends on your side. Many men you date will make great husbands, but only one of them will be meant to be yours…and you’ll make a great wife, but you’re not chosen to be the wife of every man you date. Be open to it, don’t dwell on it, date those who give you no reason not to until they do, and courageously say no to all who give you reason. We women can break a man’s heart if we date him well-knowing that there are uncompromisable reasons that we could never want him for our husband, could never want to be committed to him as his wife. Your own heart will break if you choose to have dating fun with a man it will eventually say goodbye to…so if you know head on that you wouldn’t say forever to him, move on. And if you come to realize you wouldn’t say forever to him, end it while you still can so you can overcome the hurt of it ending before the depth of it moves further into each of your lives. Have fun. Just be responsible with your heart and do your very best not to hurt a man by leading him to hope that is not really there.
P.S. I love you.
The Five Writer 